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my mum has a skewed logic, and to a libra, it is preposterous.
living with her is like living with a witch of the west.

she knows i am trying to lose weight
yet when she happens to cook, she will put the fatty pork, and the coconut cream excessively.
and she will buy fatty stuff back.

yet when i am eating it on my own, she will control my intake of it
and deride me saying i am fat

this is the logic of the water woman that drives me up the wall.
further, she can justify it just by the force of her emotions.

thats why i say i hate her
and its not only this incident.
its alot of them,
where, when she makes a mistake, its nothing, she explains it away, yet god forbid, someone else makes the mistake.
she will unleash the dementor negativity on them

oh, and she does not understand reason.
she is the ultimate dictator with no heart.

If i could never see her again, I think my life would be brighter.
Dragonfruit ice blended really looks like cookies and cream blend.
What an incognito ~

keyboard malfunction ;(

so okay, my keys type like this now.

but in other forum

did not


creative, smart, idealist, loner, attracted to sad things, disorganized, avoidant, can be overwhelmed by unpleasant feelings, prone to quitting, prone to feelings of loneliness, ambivalent of the rules, solitary, daydreams about people to maintain a sense of closeness, focus on fantasies, acts without planning, low self confidence, emotionally moody, can feel defective, prone to lateness, likes esoteric things, wounded at the core, feels shame, frequently losing things, prone to sadness, prone to dreaming about a rescuer, disorderly, observer, easily distracted, does not like crowds, can act without thinking, private, can feel uncomfortable around others, familiar with the darkside, hermit, more likely to support marijuana legalization, can sabotage self, likes the rain, sometimes can't control fearful thoughts, prone to crying, prone to regret, attracted to the counter culture, can be submissive, prone to feeling discouraged, frequently second guesses self, not punctual, not always prepared, can feel victimized, prone to confusion, prone to irresponsibility, can be pessimistic

favored careers:

poet, painter, freelance artist, musician, writer, art therapist, teacher (art, music, drama), songwriter, art historian, library assistant, composer, work in the perfoming arts, art curator, playwrite, bookseller, cartoonist, video editor, photographer, philosopher, record store owner, digital artist, cinematographer, costume designer, film producer, philosophy professor, librarian, music therapist, enviromentalist, movie director, activist, bookstore owner, filmmaker

disfavored careers:

business professional, manager, executive, administrator, business owner, supervisor, office manager, business analyst, financial analyst, public relations manager, ceo, executive assistant, judge, event coordinator, lawyer, office worker

Something I understand

That people who are violently against something are closet that thing.
Those who actively speak out against racism are really speaking out against their own inner racism.

I would expect a non racist, at least a 70% and above cleared one to understand that racism is a part of life. Alot of people are racist not due to skin colour biasness per se, but it's really a culture they're not used to. People tend to stick to what is known and comfortable. You can't call them racist unless they harm someone based on their skin colour.

As someone who's encountered various forms of racism, I actually do emphatise with the 'racist', but I shake my head only when they fail to control themselves. Logically, I would expect someone with inherent biasness to be subtle enough to be able to hide it. It's like a social decency. When you hide a certain discomfort, it allows you to actually GET TO KNOW the person so they may dispell your ignoramuses.

Alot of very smart people behave like their race is superior. I would say they lack the brains for diplomacy, and even pc-ness. It takes a refined awareness to be kind and know how to act with things you fear/ are uncomfortable with/ are not used to.


Itching to write a free review

Yup - I said it - a free review. I feel more comfortable writing as and when I like, and not for the purpose of selling, or attracting votes.

I found this exquisitely small thumbnail from google.
I'd like to write about my innoxa moisturiser and some pennies from my mind that need dislodging.

This is one moisturiser that never runs out. I believe I got it like half a year ago from the chemist near my place in Queensland. I was in dire need a of moisturiser - a good one, even. As you know, chemists, small ones, usually hold very little stock, and lo and behold, this was the range stocked nicely on the mantlepiece there. As I did not want the generic brands - I always like to try something different - I asked the kindly student-cum-first-time-sales-assistant to recommend an intensive moisturiser for the dry air.

As expected, he walked me to the mantlepiece I already browsed, and, as expected again, he introduced this range of moisturisers to me. I was up for a talk - especially when I know the sales assistant is not hard selling - well he was not, and I relied on his insights - and a bit of fib here and there - to explain the extensive range of products - I was already intent on buying an innoxa product - just wanted to hear someone's introduction.

What can I say, its not too expensive - in the 20s range, and it does look pretty well researched, packaged, etc etc. So I bought it, and then went on googs to check customer reviews - yes, my bad habit - buy first, check later.

Innoxa didnt have very good reviews - at least not those that stuck. They said it was greasy and left a sticky aftereffect. All true, yes. So for a long while, I mulled over the fact that I bought something less than optimal.

BUT, I still used it, because I dont believe in throwing away something on a whim, and realised it was pretty good. Sticky, yes, but it does not rub off like others. I think there was one, where Id put it on, and then feel the silkiness on my skin, and then 10 mins later, I can start exfoliating it away. Yes, a MOISTURISER. Imagine how awful it must be to rub your skin after applying a moisturiser, and have it rub out like a staedtler eraser peel. Innoxa does not have that - one thing that pleased me.

Skin quality? Pretty good. I'm not a chemical whiz - I think it may contain some harmful chemicals, like all products do - well it isnt organic - pretty doubtful of organic products too - strange how blind consumers actually are, relying on advertisements to snap up a product.

So there, its my experience with innoxa;s purple cap moisturiser, and I'd say I'm pretty pleased with it thus far.

My library fines list :(

1 B18210918H Preparing for graduate study in psychology : 101 22/07/2009 S$
2 B19553254A Why beautiful people have more daughters : from 22/07/2009 S$
3 B20973598J Now what? : the young person's guide to choosing 22/07/2009 S$
"That mean dogs exist is a Raison d'être for police, intelligence agencies, business planners, and courageous leaders" (Fox, 2009)

~some words like these I know, and understand, yet I have not deeply meditated nor truly understood it beyond the surface. I loved this simple truth, yet reality and reason cannot collide for a moment of enlightenment.
I dont like to hurt good people

I wish I could leave a thank you note for everyone i recognise as a great soul.

I hate it when I hurt the wrong people.

Must learn discernment more.

An idea for a book-a-holic

I read in another site; a google link from 50 - 08 (To find out Walter Annenberg's age when he married divorced; which I wanted to use as a calculator, but the first hit was a book site) I have decided that reading 50 books in 2009 is a worthwhile commitment. Now, since it is July already, and I have not counted the number of books I have read, I will start reading now. I will record every book either here or on facebook's visual bookshelf. But mostly here, methinks. Ok, go!